Yeah, the lack of posts is actually because I'm trying out Livejournal. I've got a fair amount of entries over there already at http://www.livejournal.com/users/vsmack

Don't quite take this one off your to-read lists yet though, as I'm not sure which one I like more yet.

However, for updates, including me blasting Mr. Fantastic for not mixing in a bottle of Just For Men, you should check there for now.

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What started with an accident in space Friday night ended with breakfast Saturday morning.

Was it Just For Mr. Fantastic?

I don't know if you ever heard this take that AG had about something that happened in his school.
Actually, it might have been Purcell's take. Or Saint's. Fuck it;

This kid is minding his own business in English class. Actually, I think he was a wanker. Now that I think about it, I'm 100% sure he was a wanker. He was eating a snack and the teacher wanted in. Now, this teacher was one of the younger ones, so she was a bit more willing to commit acts that somewhat violate the rules.

So buddy goes to the washroom and the teacher opens his bag and starts going through it for food.
What does she pull out and show to the whole class? If you guessed a Girls Gone Wild DVD, you guessed correctly.

Now tell me how much that would blow.
I'm a nerd, but I may very well never go to that class ever again.
Then again, I would never stuff that in my backpack in the first place.

Anyways, true story.

We just saw Spiderman 2 on TV.
It's a pretty cheesy movie, I've got to admit.
Anyways, the reason I bring it up is because of that once scene where Harry takes off Spiderman's mask and finds out he's P². That's such a hilarious scene. Buddy's mind is so blown that you can almost see the explosion. I like when he stumbles into his chair. I think people's minds being blown is funnier to me because of all the talk we have about minds being blown.

Still, I had forgotten how cheesy some of it is. Remember that one scene where Mary-J runs to P² in her wedding dress at the end? Well, enough people went to see it anyways.

I wish Johnny wouldn't watch That 70s Show. It's so terrible. It really is. Here, I'll write an episode:

Asthon Kutcher: "Something stupid!"
One of the chicks: "I can't live without this one guy!"
That foreigner: "Something really foreign!" (and also demeaning to people that don't speak English well)*

The End.

Also, I'm terribly burnt. It's a fair price to pay for lounging around by the pool all day, but it's still a piss-off.

I need something to totally blow my mind, just for some variety. Like, Harry O blown. I can only really think of a few things that would do that and the majority are pretty unpleasant.

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*Then again, it has been said that I have "a deep seated dislike of people who don't speak The Queen's English".

That's not true; I'm getting a lot better, you know.

This is a drenched Van Smack checking in. Well, I dried off, but I had planned on swimming this afternoon. Oh well, there is still piles of summer left.

Hey, you want to know a great song? Wouldn't It Be Nice? by The Beach Boys.
And no, I am not kidding.
Maybe it's just the mood I'm in these days. Whatever. It would nonetheless be nice.
So, what else is new? Oh, AG got WoW. He's a Tauren druid if you care. I don't really, but he seems pretty into it.

Say, I just told myself that next time I'm drunk I'm going to sing Wouldn't It Be Nice?. I hope it doesn't result in a total and utter stunt. I think I just jinxed it. I'd better drink tonight so that I don't end up making a fool of myself later. No, I don't think I will.

Okay, enough about that song. Though I'm still playing it.

I just saw an ad for Fantastic Four. The Thing is far and away the best. He's such a tank. Yeah, I know, the fact that he looks like a freak is a bad bit, but did you see him wreck that truck? Actually, invisibility would probably be a better bit, but I think I just want to show love to the tank character.

Wow! I just had an amazing few days. And, believe it or not, you're all going to hear about them if you keep reading. Okay, I'll start off with the Friday, which has officially made it into my Top 10 Days list.

First thing I did was wake up at 7:30 and notice that it was raining outside. That didn't bother me; I was in too good a mood. I wallahi thought to myself then "I hope they play Made Again tonight". See, I was going to a Marillion concert that night in Montreal. For those of you who don't know, Made Again is the last song from my favourite album ever, Brave. It is also far and away my favourite love song ever. I think it is, as a whole, both serene and ecstatic, confident and uncertain and all those other paradoxes on the topic that seem nearly impossible to properly capture in a song.

So, after that I promptly rolled over and went to sleep for another three hours.
Of course, I didn't just book it for Montreal; that would be a waste of a few hours. Sabrina introduced me to Battlestar Galactica (the new one, not its unfathomably groovy ancestor), which I actually won't hear hate for thus far. As AG and I have made clear by our intentions to start a party with an anti-robot platform, we don't like robots. So a show with robots as the bad guys gets points. Plus, it's got a classic grisled vet, who is my second favourite character archetype, right beside the Tank. Oh, and possibly the genius, but the genius in Battlestar is a dingus.

I guess I also decided that I didn't want to leave for Montreal with my dignity intact, as I decided to get shown up by a giant puzzle. Okay, that's not fair; that was the day before. I was looking for about 40 minutes for a piece with a Granny on it, and after swearing more than a few oaths of retribution it turns out I wasn't even the one to find her.

So sooner or later I booked it and left Purcell in charge of the house. Don't ask me how he scored that bit, but he did. I was in the Audi with AG and the Old Man. AG and I had our hate on TOO nicely, and more than a few egos would have been mutilated by Two Brothers: One Destiny had they only heard us. Turns out we didn't make it to the signing, but I wasn't that let down.

AG and I got in the venue and got awesome seats on this staircase that was both close to the front and right by the bar. Now, guess who I found.



Yeah, so Alex made it up. Man, was I surprised to see him. But we got our rap on pretty nicely, and it was good to catch up.

So, my folks being the great people they are allowed AG and I to pillage the bar as we saw fit. It was great. We got our swerve on pretty properly.
The first guy on was the keyboardist for Rufus Wainright. He was actually pretty good. Then Marillion came on.

What a show! Honestly, I'm not just saying that too. The atmosphere was great and the song selection was off the chain. We got Sugar Mice, Enlightened, part of Ocean Cloud, Cover My Eyes and Dry Land, to name a few. That late in the show AG and I were nicely swerved and were yelling for Made Again at the top of our lungs. There were these dinguses beside us yelling for Beautiful too. So, they come out for the last encore and the last song they play, after our battle with the dinguses was Made Again. I almost cried. It was just awesome.
Over the course of the night AG and I were throwing up the Bulldoggz salute some wicked. By the end of the show, after the band booked it, we, wallahi, got a good portion of the crowd throwing up the salute! No jokes! ARR ARR ARR!! That blew my mind.

Oh, at the end of the show I shook Steve Hogarth's (the lead singer) hand. Got really close to the
stage too:



Yay! So AG and I booked it to a pizza place by our hotel and ordered two giant pizzas and took them back.

*Side Disclaimer* If you don't want to hear exactly what I think of you, don't let me drink. Just ask the Marillion Jacket Man, the Pizza Guy, AG, Humphery (or however you spell it) Bogart, and the bouncer at the show.

Anyways, when I got to the hotel I was still feeling pretty good. AG and I hated on some terrible TV movie and I sang a heart-warming version of "Ten Storey Love Song" by the Stone Roses while doing some dance moves that I picked up from the end of Hitch, which I had seen the day before. I've been all over the Stone Roses of late. So here's a publicity shot. Just so you all don't think we're totally tragic, the night did NOT end where the following picture might indicate. We were a lot more pulled together than that and did, in fact, sleep in seperate beds.



So that was day 1. The next day Dad, AG and I booked it down to Toronto for the Deep Purple show. First we went over to see easily my favourite cousin, Michael, who was also going to the show:



Why is he my favourite cousin? Take note of the Usual Suspects Megaman shirt. What a great guy.
Anyways, Deep Purple was great, though they weren't Marillion. AG and I still managed to get our swerves on though. After another classic show we rapped with Michael for a while and booked it back to the hotel where AG and I bombarded possibly the meanest looking black guy I have ever seen with takes. Then AG, Pops and I went to Fran's and munched out before crashing at 2:30 or something. Though not before AG and I had another heart-warming duet of Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

For day 3, we went to a record store in Toronto with Dad and watched him buy himself $300 of father's day vinyl. Oh! He also bought us The Chronic and The Chronic 2001 instrumental on vinyl. w00t. There was also a good father-to-sons talk (Johnny went home after Marillion, bear in mind) considering it was Father's Day.

Okay, Dinner's on.

Say Hi to your Dads for me, and have a top 10er yourselves.

First off, I love you guys. No, I'm not crunk. I mean for carrying that last entry for me. What would I do without y'all?

Well, yesterday there was a kawall game of AGball. It came down to AG and Van Smack vs. Purcell, Alec, one of  Purcell's friends and Fester. I would rather have not played against a chick because unlike the other three members of the team, we couldn't just mow her down. Anyways, if you're wondering who won, I'm pretty sure it was Two Brothers: One Destiny, but we weren't keeping score.

I feel old. There was a time when all four of those kids wouldn't have been shit to me. Now mirking three at once takes effort. At least I had AG at my back. Oh, if you have something that you believe is better than sitting around the pool with brewskies and burgers I think you need to have your head checked.

In response to those comments about galaxies; there are some some really mind-blowing pictures. One I actually think looks too cool to be real, but it is. I'll have to show them to you sometime.

Oh, you know this one star VV cephei? It's the largest star that we know of, and if its centre was where our sun's centre is, it would almost reach Saturn. Now that is a tank.

Okay, what else? Oh yeah, Simcoe, pull yourself together for a session sometime soon. AG's starting his own campaign for the substantial downtime we seem to accumulate. Plus, we still have a PH floating around, because Saint and I decided not to tear it apart.

Damn, The Batman is almost on. That's a quality show, and I won't tolerate disrespect. Sunday is my only TV day, because it also has a new TPB. If you haven't been following them you've been missing out. I'm a big Joker fan now.

Also, if you like The Rolling Stones (which I don't) and think Gimme Shelter is a good song, you should hear the cover by The Sisters of Mercy. It's much better.

Hey, it looks like Alex is coming up for the Marillion concert in Montreal. Well, maybe.

If you can pick up the song "Sensi love dat" off Kazaa, I suggest you do. It's so weird and yet so chill at the same time. In other music news, I've recently been reminded that Great Big Sea is actually chill, though I think it's supposed to be roughly a million times better if one has one's swerve on. Hopefully I'll find out sooner or later.

Man, the hot weather really sucks. We've just been bombarded with scorchers. I won't lie; having a pool is pretty awesome. Probably even better than having a hottub in the winter! Haha! No, I'm sorry. If you can read this, you're invited to swim. Unless Dirty D somehow found my blog.

I think I've found the biggest bit of hack work ever. It's this book in my basement with one hack who talks about pretty much everything in the universe. I think I have gained some paltry skill with words, but I can't explain how bad this book is. See, it's my Mom's, I think, and she has some hack beliefs. I'll throw open the book and explain something from it.

Oh! Punctuation in nature! And an informative diagram of a wolf's jaw with an exclaimation mark beside it! Wow! It also seems that the butterfly is the afterlife of the caterpillar. A bit poetic, maybe, but the author intends this book to be filed under "science". Mom, who exactly are you trying to put one over on?

Alright, does that count as an entry? I'll try to say something else soon too, okay?

Yeah, I really should be updating more.
In my defence, the internet was broken.

Anyways, amongst other things, I'm trying to get back on the hating ball.
So in that regard I have yet to fall off.

Oh, I was looking through this Hubble book. Stuff like that always blows my mind clear out of the water. I mean like that human insignificance cliche in a sense, but I'm more just pissed off that I won't be able to see it all. And memo to those hacks that think there is no life out there; stop looking down and start looking up.

Also, getting into advertising as a career shouldn't be that hard. Ads really suck. Then again, maybe it's just radio ones. I'm listening to Jim Rome all the time now, and these radio ads almost all make me sick. Jim Rome, however, is my hero.

Now I have to hurry with this entry that was supposed to be long because I've got noodles waiting for lunch.

What a pitiful update. Anyways, I'll have a much better one shortly. In the meantime, keep it real, and holla back at me.